04 Ep#497 Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety is when someone fears being apart from or losing a person or other attachment figure, a place, or even an animal. Adults can experience separation anxiety, although it is more common in children. Learning necessary, healthy detachment from parents, relatives, friends, and trauma bonds provokes “separation anxiety,” does it not? Severe SA can manifest in physical symptoms, such as nausea and headaches.

But separation anxiety is a normal part of both childhood development and adult relationship development. Although it can be unsettling, Jesus teaches separation is necessary for Christians – at least temporarily – in order to bring about the repentance and reconciliation of an offender. If the offender continues without repentance (changing direction), we must detach from ungodly “Christian” relationships, or else we fall into sin ourselves as enablers. Jesus shows us how. 

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LOVE the Word® is a Bible study method based on Mary’s own practice: lectio without the Latin. Get the book based on Sonja’s method in the right margin, How to Pray Like Mary.  

L | Listen (Receive the Word via audio or video.)


O | Observe (Connect the passage to your life and recent events.)

Tolerance is not patience, it is enabling sin, according to Jesus and interpreted by the Church Fathers. Has the Holy Spirit alerted you through this episode of a relationship with a fellow (professed) Christian in which you need to speak up and erect some boundaries? What do you want to say to Him about that?  

V | Verbalize (Pray about your thoughts and emotions.)

Remembering that He loves you and that you are in His presence, talk to God about the particulars of your O – Observe step. You may want to write your reflections in your LOVE the Word® journal. Or, get a free journal page and guide in the right-hand margin.

E | Entrust (Rest in the Word.)

Dearest Jesus, my love, in the words of little Therese, “For me to become great is impossible.” Help me bear with myself and my many imperfections as I seek to follow her means of getting to heaven by a little way–very short and very straight, the little way. Amen +

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What We Discussed | Show Notes


Minutes 00:00-12:00 – the purification of our hearts has to do with paternal and maternal images (CCC 2779); Thérèse of Lisieux’s trauma; mother wounds and female physical issues

Minutes 12:01-24:00 – self- and interior-abuse; aggressive vs passive temperament; synopsis of Matthew 18; childlikeness, according to Jesus, means boundaries;  the difference between boundaries for Christians and non-Christians; Law as gift; guilt and shame; shame vs contrition; no condemnation for those in Christ (Rom 8:1 and Jn 3)

Minutes 24:01-36:00 – the forehead as the seat of shame; Ex 28 HOLINESS TO THE LORD; 3 stages of boundaries; Holy Spirit is our wisdom and discernment as we “wrestle” with boundaries; overview of Matt 18; the Fathers on offenses against children and ourselves

Minutes 36:01-48:00 – “cutting them off” or no-contact; eyes, hands, and feet; Jesus seeks out the one who has been separated or “lost”


Click here for a transcript of the show.